Well the good part of being in the cubicle...
Nobody talks to me anymore...
Really, no one says hi, no one asks me questions. It's as if they're avoiding me and that could be. After all, since it looks like I've been demoted, no one wants to catch that bug.
The funny thing, I ended up giving two informal sales presentations on the company to prospective clients today - not that management would really want to know that.
Which ultimate woman are you?
Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
Another Horoscope...
One of the hardest decisions we ever make in life is leaving a long-term relationship that just isn’t working. When attempts at repairing and working out issues aren’t working, it may be time to examine moving on. We are emotional creatures, and when our heartstrings are tied to those of another, separating from that person can feel like an act of courage. It is not something most of us will take lightly, and many of us will struggle with our desire to stay in a relationship that is unfulfilling simply in order to avoid that pain. We may question whether the happiness we seek even exists, and we may wonder if we might be wiser to simply settle where we are, making the best of what we have.
On the one hand, we almost relish the idea that true happiness is not out there so that we can avoid the pain of change. On the other hand, we feel within ourselves a yearning to fulfill our desire for relationships that are vital and healing. Ultimately, most of us will follow this call, because deep within ourselves we know that we deserve to be happy. We all deserve to be happy, no matter where we find ourselves in this moment, and we are all justified in moving, like plants toward the light, in the direction that leads to our greatest fulfillment. First, though, we may need to summon the courage to move on from the relationship that appears to be holding us back.
Taking the first steps will be hard, but the happiness we find when we have freed ourselves from a situation that is draining our energy will outshine any hardship we undergo to get there. Keeping our eyes trained on the horizon, we begin the work of disentangling ourselves from the relationship that no longer fits. Every step brings us closer to a relationship that will work, and the freedom we need to find the happiness we deserve.
Pray for more gratitude?
Prayer is when we ask the universe for something, and meditation is when we listen..
Within the religious culture I live in, prayer and praying for the things one wants are big. But we have to be reminded at the pulpit to pray for gratitude. Years ago I was given a book called,
Do Your Prayers Bounce Off the Ceiling?. The main point was learning to listen for the answers to prayers.
Listening at all times can be beneficial. If we really listened to our bodies, we would probably move more and eat less. Listening to our spouses and children would strengthen our family relationships. It's amazing what you hear when you listen at work or in public - somethings you don't want to know, others you're glad you heard. The question then becomes, do you act on what you hear? And how do you act on what you hear?
What if what you hear is a lie? Do you correct the situation or just let it go? Or does it become one of the situations where you pray for guidance?
I think it's time to listen to the universe, God, and my inner self...
I drove across the Golden Gate Bridge...
and I tried to take a picture but it didn't work well from a moving car.
Interesting horoscope for my anniversary...
April 16, 2008
Love In Fairness
Pisces Daily Horoscope
You may be particularly attentive to the needs of your loved ones today as you see how they are intertwined with your own. Because you’re likely feeling accommodating and helpful, you may feel compelled to examine your decisions in light of how they will affect the people that are close to you. Others may perceive you as fair-minded and cooperative, appreciating your concern for their welfare, and express their gratitude by doing all they can to support your endeavors. As you consider how the choices you make will impact your life plan, consider also how the lives of those who rely on your love and support will be shaped by those choices. You may discover today that you can strive for your goals while simultaneously helping the people you care about reach theirs.
Understanding that the needs of the people important to you may often differ from your own can help you make decisions that are equitable and acceptable to all affected by them. It’s easy to make choices based on what we want and what will most positively impact our own lives without considering our loved ones. However, when you are accommodating the notions and desires of your family and friends, you naturally act more fairly and cooperatively. They will appreciate your willingness to treat their needs as importantly as you would treat your own, and you will have the pleasure of seeing your decisions making most people happy. When you consider the needs of your loved ones as you move through life today, your decisions will have far-reaching benefits.
For my husband: I'm so sorry that we weren't able to spend today together. You're right, I put the office and my parent's family before you way too often and it's time to stop putting the interests of the office before my own. I'm doing my best to grow up and I'm working to make the next 21 years better than the last. Although I'm not complaining about the time we've spent together so far. Thank you for knowing my needs better than I do and making sure that someone is always looking out for my best interests.
Sometimes a girl just needs to be pampered....
So Friday night, I get home from work to find that I have a hot bubble bath waiting for me. After about 30 minutes in the tub, I hear the doorbell ring and it's the masseuse. I slept like the dead on Friday night. About 10 am DH wakes me up to tell me that I need to get going if I'm going to make it to Needlepoint class (my dad gave me 4 classes for Christmas and I'm just now getting out to take them). I arrived at the class to find that only 2 of the 8 made it to class so I got a lot of personal attention. Then I went and had my nails done (since it was a prom night, I got to have the salon owner do my nails and had a great talk about the issues with owning a business.
Some weekends you just need to take time for yourself and relax.
Who are you really?
It's amazing how many cares disappear when you decide not to be something, but to be someone.
- Coco Chanel How many people identify themselves by what they do rather than who they are. So who are you? Who do you want to be? What do you want to be doing? What are you asking the universe to give you?
Brought my brain home from the office for good today...
Yep, I took my
brain home and several other personal items. Seems there isn’t as much room in my new cubicle as there was in my office. The desk space isn’t nearly the same but I’ll get used to it. I do have more usable wall space and it makes sense to have the entire account management team in one area. The only thing I’m really upset about is how it was communicated to me. I had been led to believe that I would be trading offices with the account management team manager. After all, I’ve had an office for close on 11 years now. Then this morning the office manager asks me if I’m packed for my move yet.
“What move?”
“Didn’t they tell you, you’re moving to the cubicle across the wall from C?”
No, didn’t know. So I get back to my office to find that my computer has finally booted up (takes 10 to 15 minutes every morning, doesn’t take half that time when it’s not connected to the network, IT can’t figure it out. He didn’t believe me at first until I demonstrated with the cable hooked and unhooked.) There is an email from my supervisor announcing the change and apologizing for the short notice. I do really wish that they had given me one of the cubicles that would put my back to the east wall. Instead, my back faces the entire room, and my screen is visible to everyone. Oh well, it just means that, until the Flex/IT chick is back from her leave, I’ll be inadvertently sharing HIPAA information of co-workers with everyone who looks at my screen while passing my desk not to mention being in a public area when co-workers want to discuss issues with their own medical claims.
Some quotes that hit hard today...
"We promise according to our hopes and perform according to our fears."
-- Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld
"Remember always that you have not only the right to be an individual; you have an obligation to be one. You cannot make any useful contribution in life unless you do this." -- Eleanor Roosevelt
"It doesn't matter how strong your opinions are. If you don't use your power for positive change, you are, indeed, part of the problem." -- Coretta Scott King
"Luck is the by-product of busting your fanny." -- Don Sutton
Broke three nails today...
but it was bound to happen. I inherited my father's finger nails which means they are weak, brittle and not well shaped. They tend to the flat and concave instead of the convex. If I get any of them to extend beyond the edges of my fingers then I'm doing extremely well. I usually don't even try to get them very long if only because long nails get in the way of my stitching. I don't see how people with long nails can thread a needle but if I had long nails for more than a month, I could probably figure it out.
Speaking of stitching, I finished my first project in about 4 months over the weekend. It's the
BCS 3-5 kit Waffle Stitch from Victoria Sampler and it came together quick. I'm also working on a quilt and in about 3 hours I'll be halfway done with the hand quilting. It feels good to be stitching again and I'm sure I'll have more time for it after I finish school. I have to get back in the habit of having a project with me. I realized that in the doctor's office with my son today. I had about 15 minutes of dead time, I could have made some progress on an ornament then. I could have read homework too but I didn't have my books with me. Bad Stasha, leaving home without stitching or a book. It's been years since I've been in that position. I've fixed it by putting a Victorian Christmas ornament in my purse. It won't happen again.
The Clouds of Chaos...
And as I kept going through the fog, it got deeper and darker instead of lifting. I kept shouting trying to find my way out, but all I really accomplished was hurting other people’s ears. I’m not sure how many circles I turned or paths I crossed without knowing. I traveled looking at my own feet, trying to avoid the dangers that had to be out in the mist, whether real or imagined. The trouble with looking down while traveling is you never really can see where you’re going. Not to mention not seeing the people you bump into and hurt along the way. So many chances to reach out and steady someone else, anyone else who also drifted in the gloaming; chances passed by since I concentrated on my own feet and not my destination or those around me who needed help, or if not help, just a hand or an arm to lean on, a shoulder to dampen within the moisture of the miasma. How many did I miss while staring at my feet? How many missed me while staring at their own? And what brought the vapor on, and where did it all go? Will it be back? I hope to heaven it doesn’t return, I wouldn’t wish my attitude of the last five months on anyone. All I really have to say is… I’m Back! (and better than ever!) after all I am the goddess of Chaos, I control it, not the other way around.
Sunday evening conversation...
DH: Does anyone have a jump drive I can borrow?
Me: What happened to the portable brain I gave you for Christmas?
DH: I don't know, I think I lost it.
DD: Dad may have lost his brain?
DS#1: You have to ask?
Me: Did you ever take it out of the package?
DH: No
DS#1: Dad's brain is still in the shrink wrap?
Me: Actually it was a clamshell cover.
DS#2: I think I may have Dad's brain in my room.
DD: Why doesn't that surprise me?
DS#2: Yep, I had Dad's brain, it's smaller than mine but has more memory.
DS#1: So, Dad's little brain is bigger than the rest of ours?
Me: Yes, your dad has double the brain storage that the rest of us have.
DD: I thought you had more memory than Dad?
DH: Only in real life.
Found an old blog that I never published...
Doesn’t everyone shop this way?
So I’m in the grocery store today, and at the end of ringing up my items, I hand the cashier my preferred customer card (which is tied to an old address and has a phony phone number, enough people data mine my life without my helping them!). The guy behind me lets out an explicative as he watches my total go from $90 to $41.50. I ask him what the problem is. He asks me how I did that. I mentioned that the store is running multiple 2 for 1 sales. I told him that I learned long ago that I could make my budget stretch a lot further using in store sales. I pointed out that I needed eggs and would normally buy the 18 count large for $1.28 but today, I was getting 2 dozen medium for .99 and I needed bread anyway so why not get the 2 for 1.98? Since I was getting more bread than usual, it paid to pick up the 2 pounds of sliced turkey for $4.99 since I already had cheese which I bought last week at 2 pounds for 6.99. When I picked out the chicken breasts, I found the packages at the butcher block which were still frozen so I knew they were safe to put straight in the freezer (you have to watch that, re-freezing poultry is not a good idea). So yes, I had just picked up a week’s worth of staples for $41.50. No, there weren’t any veggies. I get those from the farmers market after I’ve compared the grocery store price so I don’t pay more for the fresh than I would for the pretty. He jokingly said that he should have me do his shopping for him. I think he was surprised when the cashier who is a friend of my daughter replied, “She will but she charges a 10% surcharge on the total of the groceries.” The cashier then asked me which rain checks I needed and I had her fill three out. He asked if I really would use the rain checks and I said, “Yes in two weeks when they’re back to regular price. In the mean time, they will have been restocked on Sunday and the sale doesn’t end until Tuesday so I can pick the items up Monday evening and then again in 2 weeks. Is this really such an odd way of shopping? I have to admit that it was an ego boost to have him admire how much money I saved, especially when I was feeling horrid about how much I was spending since I had only gone in for eggs, bread, and milk.
(Sept 15, 2006)
Back from Vegas
And it was a great thing...I slept in the sun by the pool, slept in the hotel room, ate more than I should, saw
Yellow Brick Road (they were incredible, they're a tribute band and to me they sound very close to the originals and the lead singer is a total hoot! Great performance presence!)
We met some great people and I have a greater appreciation of what a wonderful man I married. He sure takes care of me.
Oh by the way, I found some great clothes including a fantastic black leather skirt. I wore it to dinner both nights we were there. If I keep losing weight, it won't fit well but I know this great tailor...
