Thank you for the good wishes...
Today was my birthday and I had a great time, I took a day off work and went to a charity quilting event and I went to IHOP for Pancakes. None of my kids wanted to go and DH was laid up with a bad back, so I took a notebook and went for pancakes by myself. It’s nice to have those moments when we can think things out and just plan on our own. Anyway, today I am 40 and I’m
celebrating it.
A weekend challenge
75% of people are afraid of starting a conversation with a stranger. The only greater fear is public speaking. Or so says the author of the book I'm reading right now. So, if I'm going to do these exercises to improve my speaking ability, I'm going to invite you to do them too. And please, let me know how it goes!
When you're out and about this weekend, take the time to introduce yourself to someone and ask them a question.
There are so many places and ways to do it?
At the grocery store: Do you enjoy that brand? What do you like about it?
At a restaurant: Have you been here before? What do you recommend? or even easier, learn your waiter's name and something about them.
At a theater: What are you here to see? What films have you enjoyed? What do you think about ??'s latest work?
Anywhere: So what's your opinion of....
The Store
It’s been forever since I went to The Store. My mom used to shop there all the time when we lived up on 3080 East because it was the closest grocery. I remember it being a neighborhood grocery store where they would call when Mom’s Finnish Rye bread arrived and they would grind liver for Maksilatiko for her. The cashiers knew her by name and trusted her to come back and pay for things without leaving one of us as a hostage (my sister Kat got to stay at more gas stations while Mom ran for her wallet). The Store closed its 2700 East location years ago; another victim of the chain store supermarkets. I thought they were gone for good until I moved to the South Valley and found one on 6400 South. It seems they’ve found a niche to keep them alive in the face of the Walmart and other superstore assaults - - specialty items.
When I first married, we had a small grocery near the apartment run by a butcher. I could get fat trimmed from steaks, dog bones, soup bones (big difference between the two), and the T-bones were to die for. The other items were too expensive there so I went to the superstore for everything else. But being on the other side of the city, the meat wasn’t worth the gas and time it would cost to go there.
The Store has a butcher, a baker, and a confectioner. Not to mention specialty items from all over the world. It’s a dangerous place. I got German chocolates, New Zealand honey, Fresh English muffins with Bitter orange marmalade from Switzerland, milk from cows who never got BGH, and the fresh Tomato soup that I stopped for in the first place. I could go broke shopping there daily but once in a while, it’s nice to give yourself a treat. I wonder if they would grind liver for me. I would expect to have a cleaning fee tacked on just like they did for my mother.
Johari and Nohari windows
Okay thank's to Stacey, I'm jumping on this bandwagon too. So feel free to contribute to
Stasha's Johari Window.
And if you don't want to say positive things about me, or think that I could really use having my failings pointed out to me, you can always do this
one. I would hope if you do the Nohari window, you would have the courage to leave a name I recognize. After all, if I don't know my weaknesses, how can I make them into strengths? Let's face it, for the Nohari window, you're one of two types of people. Someone who knows me well enough for me to share my faults with, or someone who just thinks they know my faults but has never taken the time to know me...
In The Deep Dark Hours After Midnight
Besides being from one of my favorite
filking albums, the song describes my thoughts many times in the middle of the night when I’m the only one awake in the house, the heat is off, the birds covered and the beagle keeps looking up at me with his, “aren’t you going to bed yet so I can get in the garbage” eyes. But I need less sleep than the rest of the family which is why I’m up and they’re not. I guess I should be concentrating more on finishing the taxes but I’m down to 2 accounts left to go and the accountant has tomorrow’s holiday off even if I don’t. I haven’t been to any of the holiday fabric sales and they are good. 1.99 bolts, $1.00 fat quarters and 10% off finish the bolts cuts at Quilts, etc. and JoAnn’s has a 10% off entire purchase, sale and non-sale items. Maybe it’s because I’m doing the taxes and realizing what I spend in stash during the year would take my family on a nice vacation. It’s a drop in the bucket compared to the photo expenses but I could justify those by saying they are a business startup, if it was treated more like a business and less like a hobby that may pay for itself someday.
I read blogs today and felt a bit melancholy at how few had my blog listed but then, why should they list mine when I don’t list theirs? I think what hurts is my own perception that some of the people I really admire can’t stand me and don’t respond when I do drop them a line to tell them how much I care. But again, it could just be February talking.
So I stand here mired in my own fear, wondering should I really contact someone I only know online but admire her skill about a paid job that I need in a rush. Is the amount that I can afford to pay an insult to her skill? Would she even respond to me since I’ve heard rumor that she despises me? But then again, the face she puts out on line would never despise anyone. So is this my own insecurity talking. When I pray about it, the answer I get is that this is one of those small things left to my discretion; it doesn’t matter in the eternal scheme. There is someone local who would do the work free but is notorious for not being timely. So here I sit in the deep still hours after midnight, wondering.
*After Midnight is on Harpers, Heralds, and Havoc.
An open letter to the woman who tried to pass me this morning
Finally, winter arrived in the form of a snow storm that dumped a good 11 inches at my house. I love the snow, I love sitting inside stitching facing the window watching it fall down outside backlit by my neighbor’s porch light. I like seeing the kids outside with their sleds and watching the beagle try to decide if he’s going to romp over the top or dig his way through. What I don’t like is that everyone forgets how to drive. I slow down to a safe speed. If I’m in a 4x4 truck and going about 50 on the freeway, why should you think that your Honda is safe at a higher speed and since I’m so slow, you try to pass me on the right? No, I didn’t stop when you slid off the embankment. I have 4 wheel drive but it doesn’t mean I can brake any faster in bad weather. In fact, I probably brake slower since I weigh more (want to really discuss mass?) May I also add that I do not have a winch on my truck? That means I do not have the ability or the inclination to try and pull you from the ditch that you drove yourself into by trying to pass me on the right. In fact, considering that you honked at me on the way past, I’m even less inclined to help. But I’m not completely unfeeling; I did see that you were still moving I did pass my son the cell phone and had him call the sheriff’s department. Of course, I suppose that as soon as you hang up your current call, you’ll probably call them too. I did give them your plate number, explained that you passed me on the right and that you were on your cell phone when you went off the highway. I think they put you at the bottom of the list since they have over 100 accidents to take care of this morning. Good luck and have a good day.
So, what are you doing for someone for Valentine’s day?
I was reminded the other day that St. Valentine embodied the concept of Love. Not sex, not marriage, not “couplehood” but the concept of Love. So how do you define Love? Do you use the Christian concept of Charity? Maybe take it further and go with the Eastern philosophies of complete harmony with the universe? Do you limit it to familial relationships? What about the Pure love of Christ? My husband and I will not be doing anything together on Tuesday night. He will be going out with the boy scouts to deliver flowers to all the single women in the neighborhood. I find it a fitting way to celebrate the life of St. Valentine.
Can I give you a challenge? If you don’t have anyone special in your life right now with whom to spend February 14th, go out and do a charitable act for a stranger. It’s still an expression of love.
Please ignore, this is just a work rant....
You know, I don’t enjoy having the president of sales scream at me about being behind in my reports because I just spent 4 hours fixing a screw-up that the system operator created in order to get the data for the report. I would think that they would be GRATEFUL instead of putting all my paperwork on hold and basically being snotty about it. Next time, I’ll just leave them out to dry (except they don’t have the ability to fix the data since I have access to RAW files and they don’t. So sales is in my face yelling about "why aren’t the reports done?" if he had to go to Idaho they would have had to been done last week. Yes, and last week I wouldn’t have done the claims manager's job, I would have let everything sit and done it all this week. Not to mention the days I spent doing the IT manager's job and the office manager’s jobs. Yes, I can usually get all the monthly reports done by the 10th of the month if I’M NOT DOING THE WORK OF FOUR SUPERVISORS!
I took stuff home to do but my brain got left in the office computer (also why the reports I took home over the weekend are not done.) I have determined one thing though. If they don’t believe I work from home then as of today, nothing leaves the office.
Things I learned this weekend....
- If you play Fantasia for 10 year old boys who are hopped up on sugar and ice cream they will go to sleep.
- Pluto is still funny to kids.
- The unedited Bugs Bunny cartoons are even funnier than Pluto.
- It is easier to surf than to categorize a year’s worth of transactions in Quickbooks.
- It takes longer than expected to categorize transactions that are downloaded from the web instead of recorded by hand.
- If you give 10 year old boys Nerf guns they will want to play with them immediately and they will not limit aiming to targets alone.
- Don’t count on kids waking after 9 am even if they go to bed at 2 am
- Nerf darts leave marks on the wall no matter what the packaging says.
- Chocolate cake is too much temptation for a beagle.
- Ironing boards are not good beagle launch pads.
- Chocolate cake and beagle are not a good combination.
From Kirsten's Blog
- Worldwide, Shondratasha is the most important natural enemy of night-flying insects!
- Three seagulls flying overhead are a warning that Shondratasha is near.
- Apples are covered with a thin layer of Shondratasha.
- Long ago, the people of Nicaragua believed that if they threw Shondratasha into a volcano it would stop erupting.
- You would have to dig through four thousand kilometres of Shondratasha to reach the earth's core.
- Every day in the UK, four people die putting Shondratasha on!
- If you drop Shondratasha from more than three metres above ground level, she will always land feet-first!
- The number one cause of blindness in the United States is Shondratasha.
- It's bad luck to put Shondratasha on a bed!
- 68 percent of all UFO sightings are by Shondratasha.
I demonstrated the truth of #1 in Nashville last year although, I'm not the one who squished the cicada. #2 I didn't know but there are some strange superstitions out there. Regarding #3 - it's safer than Alar. Well Number 4 explains my dislike of smoking mountains... As for #5, I knew I needed to lose weight but REALLY, did you have to rub it in? In Response to #6 - I would just like to point out that it is not healthy for those of you across the pond to lie to me.... And here I thought number #7 was more true of my friend Cat... as for #8 this may be a reaction to the truth of #9 (unless you're my DH). And as for #10 - - Have you seen my stash room? But really 68%, I was sure that Lorchen has more than I do.
Thanks to Kirsten for this one...
The reworded Rant
Okay, some of you have emailed me about the negativity of my last post. Let me rephrase a few things:
I’m a goal-oriented, ebullient, creative person whose enthusiasm often terrifies lesser mortals. I try to be aware of those around me but may occasionally miss someone on the sidelines. As I told someone who said that they were a wallflower in the party of life, I’m the person in the middle of the floor dancing with the Tiffany lampshade on my head and the coat rack as my partner – and no, I haven’t had anything to drink. (For those of you at the Nashville dinner last year – Wendy had the red-headed slut, I got the pecan tart (which was not scheduled to be on the dessert table) – it was Suz’s slut and tart comments that started me laughing uncontrollably.
I love life, I believe in taking everything that Life gives me and making a positive out of it. Even the challenges are positives. As Nietzsche said, “That which does not break my back will make me stronger.” Everything that happens helps me to grow and develop. I am stronger for the associations that I have on the boards. All of you help me to become better, either through good or bad examples. After all, as Catherine Aird declared, “If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.” I hope that I’m an example more times than I’m a warning.
I would like to add one thing though. If you don't feel like you're part of the party, come in the door - post, comment, and reply - come out to the middle of the dance floor. Take the risk of rejection. Mayor Rudolf Giuliani said, “Courage is nothing more than managing fear.”
Too long for a post response...(and probably nonsensical for those that don't visit The Wagon.
I am me, the same on the Internet as in real life - the obnoxious know-it-all who will never say anything behind your back that I wouldn't say to your face. But then I'll tell you to your face what I think- no punches pulled. I'm self-centered and live in my own world - and yes there are many of you that I would like to get to know better (Goldie, Stacey, and Terri come to mind) and there are some that I would just as soon never meet because of the way that they present themselves on the ‘Net. Only one or two people that I've met were not the people they are on the BB's but they just intrigued me and made me curious about them. (A wonderfully gregarious BB talker who is horribly shy IRL comes to mind). There have only been 2 members of the ezboard community that I never wanted to see again after we met, just because we rubbed each other wrong. Both of them should know who they are (I’m pretty sure neither of them visits the Wagon so if you came to this blog from the link in
Whizgidget’s post – IT’S NOT YOU!). Of those two, I probably owe one of them an apology since I very publicly ranted in my blog as to why I can’t stand her when it should have been handled in private. For those that have emailed me, you know that I’ll drop everything to come meet you. (I keep waiting for Darla to pass through my city so I can have a 3 am truck stop meal.) If you’re in trouble, I’ll drop everything to come get you and help you escape (remember the offers -LisaUT and Indystitch?)
In the long run, I don’t have as much time as others to spend cruising blogs or the boards, but when I do get time, I’ll either go random through the bloggers links or I’ll hit a blog like Whizgidget’s, Suz’s, or Annette’s where there are bunches of links to choose from. Most days, I do my best to try and find something to comment on just so that you’ll know that I was there and I read it. I do that because I have days when I wonder if anyone visits my blog and reads it. It’s one of the reasons that I post questions here (That and to get people to think on occasion).
I’ll admit that I sometimes wonder if it was me that caused someone to delete their blog all together (I can think of a couple that disappeared within days of my leaving a comment that I thought was helpful and provided an answer to a question they were asking – sugar glider care comes to mind).
I do know that there are some people out there that actually hate me (but not enough to send me hate mail, just enough to post about me in their blogs or on other BB’s). I just figure the rest of you are as self-focused as I am and haven’t had the time to let me know that you noticed me. (Or you just agree with everything that I say – I would love a comment expressing a contrary opinion and providing an argument to back it up, I love to debate. Debate is not insulting, it’s informative).
I do have to admit that I am amazed at the number of people that ask for RAK addresses and although I’m not quick at giving them out, I do respond eventually (I’ve asked that people ask Kirsten first though). I have to say that I was shocked to get a RAK myself and I feel guilty that I probably wasn’t as eloquent or timely in expressing my appreciation (yes, Susan, I still feel bad that I didn’t email you immediately).
There have been one or to that have reached out to me to whom I feel I haven’t responded as well as I should have (Belinda, Annette, and Shorty come to mind) and there are others that I talk to all the time – to the point that I’m thinking of adopting the South American custom of having my children refer to them and their spouses as Aunt and Uncle.
Beyond that, it’s a time and distance issue, after all, as my husband is fond of saying…”You don’t know who is really a stitcher and who is Bubba from Cell Block C.” Ever since I first posted that comment, I’ve been telling him – but Darla admitted she is Bubba so the worst anyone else can be is an unconvicted rapist. He still worries about how much I get wrapped up in your issues and problems, after all to him, you’re all imaginary; except for Karen, Cat, Robert, Ann, and the people he met in Vegas. The jury is still out on those who he’s talked to on the telephone.
Is this Suicide?
There is a lot of talk of death and dying on the blogs this week in the community I read and there is some talk of suicide which got me thinking. Is refusing medical treatment suicide? When you know the cancer is terminal and all chemotherapy will do is prolong life by a few months is it really worth the pain and side effects? What attitude do you take while it’s happening?
Jim is in his mid-sixties. He served in Vietnam, he dresses today like the old hippy he is. 15 years ago, Jim discovered religion and he discovered my aunt. They’ve been happy together and good for each other. She has him eating healthy and helped him eliminate the majority of his unhealthy habits. 6 months ago, doctors found a spot on Jim’s lung. The biopsy discovered even more cancer. Jim’s attitude has been “Well, 30 years of smoking and other stuff finally caught up with me.” He started chemotherapy and did 2 courses. He loves the “tie-dyed” chemo cap that a dear friend of mine knitted for him. He wears it daily (I should probably beg for a 2nd since he’s almost worn it out). Last week, he heard that the cancer is now in 5 areas, and it’s not responding to chemo as well as they hoped. The doctor wants to do another series, with stronger drugs. Jim said no.
He intends to go home and do what he wants for the next several months. He’s said he’s done with hospitals and doesn’t intend to go back. His wife is having trouble with this. He keeps saying that this day was inevitable with his first cigarette. He’s moved the family into a condo so his wife won’t have as much to take care of after he’s gone. Some of the family accuse him of committing slow suicide. I can see their point. But I can see his too. I think I agree with him. Why bankrupt the family to gain a few months on earth when you know there is an afterlife? Why suffer pain for a few more weeks here when you know that you will be with your loved ones on the other side? Yes, they will be sad for the short time that you’re separated but the span of a mortal life is a grain of sand in the shores of eternity.
So, is it suicide or death with dignity? Last night, in an episode of House M.D., I heard a monologue that there is no dignity in death. Death with dignity is a lie. Dignity only exists in life. One can live with dignity but death is always a messy, undignified process and should be delayed at all costs. If everyone believed as Dr. House, did in that moment, then we wouldn’t have the debate about assisted suicide. There would be no questions about “quality of life.” (Notice I qualified the comment with “in that moment.” The next episode showed House choosing to sacrifice the life of one baby in order to save 5 others.) So we come back to the original question - - Is doing nothing a way of committing suicide? Is it wrong?
Pop quiz...
What is the deadline for filing taxes? If you said April 15th, that’s not the right answer. With the utilization of 2 extensions the deadline is actually October 15th. Last year, I filed my taxes on October 15th and that’s only because my accountant was very good and didn’t yell at me when I turned everything in to him on October 13th, nothing like waiting until the last second.
This year, I’m doing it all early. I’m not going to wait until the last minute and that’s not just idle talk. In fact, today, I got out my bag of tax papers and organized them. I still don’t have the stuff out of the tax cupboard but I did buy an expanding file for receipts this year. I know there are some deductions I missed last year due to lack of organization. This year there are some I’m going to be missing from lack of documentation. Mainly the humanitarian giving that I’ve done. I didn’t get receipts for a lot of the stuff I sent for charity. But in a way, isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? Let thy alms be in secret, let not the right know what the left is doing, charity should be in private not shouted to the world. I do like not giving my money to the government and if I can give it to charities of my choice instead, then that’s even better. In an ideal world, we wouldn’t need social security, Medicaid, or many of the government social programs since individuals would see beyond the ends of their noses and help others without being begged, cajoled or forced. Anyway, I’ve at least started on my taxes. Maybe after I post this, I’ll open Quicken and get started. Then again, maybe I’ll go clean the stash room.
Just another manic Monday...
So I forget to tell my husband that I have to be in the office early so he wakes me up with just enough time for me to shower and run out the door. I’m out of my “base coat” base color. The office manager is out so I’m the only supervisor in the building. My ceramic cup cracked when I put hot water in it to make cocoa. If I hadn’t started
LifeChange today, I would take this as a sign that I was about to have a bad week.
And in this corner....
I have a Tempur-pedic mattress. You know the advertisements, “made of space age material” and they have the wine glass that doesn’t move when the girl in a shorty nightgown jumps on the bed. Now before you think I fell for advertising hype, let me explain a few things about my life. I’m married to a man who has been mistaken for Peter Jackson (before Jackson lost weight) on more than one occasion. My last traditional spring mattress lasted 3 years before it looked like that kitchen gadget that goes next to the stove in which you to rest spoons. Turning it didn’t work, it just broke down the springs on both sides. Let’s not even get into the back pain. DH has a congenital back problem that the doctors describe as “Pretend your spine is a sturdy ladder, now put that ladder on a bowling ball.” Needless to say, a good mattress is a necessity. So we went mattress shopping. First, DH spent a month researching things on the internet, by telephone and in print. Then he found all the shops in town and went and checked them out. Finally, he took me with him to the shops that had the best prices. I wasn’t that thrilled with the thought of a traditional mattress that we would have to replace in another 3 years. So we checked out some of the specialty shops.
It’s amazing how someone dressed like a laborer with long hair can’t get taken seriously by sales people. Did I mention that in the morning DH had been doing remodeling on some rental houses we’re selling and then going mattress shopping in the afternoon? Anyway, the Tempur-pedic people didn’t try to run him off the premises so they had an advantage. So after checking out the bed and prices, he called me to come try the mattress and see the shop. I got there and the salesman showed us several models. We decided on a king. Smart sales person then suggested that we try several different models of pillows. I ended up loving one that reminds me of the wood block described in Memoirs of a Geisha (the book not the movie). It was so comfortable that while DH and the salesperson were haggling, I fell asleep.
Fast forward to winter…
No one bothered to tell us that the Tempur-pedic material becomes rock hard in the cold. If you “flop” back onto the mattress, you may crack your skull. I’ve learned, however, that if you crawl onto the stone cold rigid surface, body heat will warm the mattress and you will sink in beautifully. Think about that a second, the mattress molds around you and is a perfect fit to your body. But if you’re like me, you came to bed to read, do crosswords, logic puzzles, or sudoku puzzles before going to sleep. You crawl into bed and make yourself comfortable for the activity that you’re doing. The bed molds around the position that you are in and when you’re ready to sleep, you move to get into your favorite sleep position and discover that the mold you set is not the one you sleep in. It takes a while for the mattress to shift the mold and while it’s doing so, it never fails that there is a small spike of cold mattress poking into my back.
But in the morning, the bed is warm and soft, the blankets cozy and the flannel, which attracts beagle hair quite well, is comforting. The beagle is usually at my feet, either under the blankets and on top of the sheet or right at my feet depending on how he burrowed in the night. And this brings us to the point of this entry… This morning, the mattress won, I didn’t get up and exercise.
