Just So You Know

Before anyone starts throwing stones.....

I read a psych study recently that said widowers in happy marriages usually remarry within 6 months of the spouse's death. It seems that they get so lonely without a wife that they go on the prowl. If the marriage was unhappy, then they will wait several years before going out on the marriage market.
Women on the other hand if they are widowed from a happy marriage may never remarry. If it was unhappy, then they may go looking for something better.
My next door neighbor has lost 2 wives to cancer. After the last one died, he married one of the women who worked with the hospice 6 months after the funeral, much to the chagrin of his kids. No there wasn’t anything going on with them before his wife died. In fact, she says that he didn’t even notice her until she came after the funeral to help him clean up the medical supplies to be disposed of and the equipment returned. Yes, he asked her out for coffee 4 days after his wife’s funeral. The kids considered it a date but she said he just needed a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk too. They started meeting for lunch once a week and things just went from there. She says that she didn't plan to marry but it just seemed right when he proposed. It's strange some of the rumors that I've heard from people who haven't asked either of them the story. Funny thing is though, he gets a kick out of helping perpetuate them. When people ask after his 2nd wife, he just smiles and says, "She lost her battle with breast cancer, but I'm happy with (wife #3) now, she was such a wonderful caregiver to (wife #2)." She usually puts her arm in his and clarifies that they didn't start dating until after #2's funeral. It still causes talk though.
It's great to see #3 with the grandkids though. For so long their version of Grandma was someone who could barely sit up. Now Grandma is out playing baseball with them (and my boys) or watching from the porch as they ride bikes. Those kids are so lucky to have her in their life. She even tried my son's scooter the other day since she felt that the skateboard would be too dangerous.
The real reason that I love neighbor's new wife - - Last fall when he started complaining about how my yard looked (again), she turned to him and said, "Just because you're an old fart who has nothing to do but golf and yard work doesn't mean that everyone has time to do it. If you don't like how the yard looks, why don't you volunteer to care for it?" I smiled at her and thanked her for understanding and told him that I would be ever so grateful for anything that he could do with my yard. I told him of the plans to replace the ever dying grass with roses (which do well in sandy soil) and said until the roses were in I would love his help with the grass and volunteered my 13 year old to mow his yard. He just "hmmmphhed" away and I haven't heard a word from him since.
I think he's scared of letting the 13 year old touch his mower.

posted by Shondratasha @ 10:46